Did I mention it was Muddy?

Our travels this weekend took us to a muddy, muddy, wet place named The CPE Trial in Elkgrove.

I thought you would like a glamorous, insider's view into the behind the scenes life of an agility competitor.

All our stuff is inside the car. Where it is not raining. This includes dogs and mud. Dog frisbees, dog coats, human coats, are all coated with mud. Coffee and things inside the cooler are exempt from the mud. Do you remember I got some new Red Shoes the other day? They are coated with mud but I am very happy to report to you that my actual feet, not coated with mud or even a tiny bit wet. So that was one part of the whole day that was not muddy. My feet.

The dogs had an enjoyable day sitting in cages in the car, staying out of the rain. They would go into it for occasional games of frisbee, or "warming up" for classes. Warming Up means:

Take a walk in some mud. Going in the mud. Getting muddy. Do a couple jumps. Have some treats. Run crazy fast. Pull the frisbee out of the mud. Pretend that you are doing this crazy fastness in the ring. Get a little more muddy.

Then the dogs would go in the ring, which was in a covered arena, yet still muddy, and be not super fast. In CPE, this is actually fast enough for Team Small Dog to win many of their classes. And even get Q's in all of them. Except for Otterpop's Jackpot Class, where the timer broke and the run got all screwed up and she was not allowed do-overs. Oh well. I am not sure why, and what the hell. I didn't really care. I kept looking at the judge, waiting for a time buzzer, the judge would look at me, I'd do another loop through the ring, look at the judge, she would look at me, no buzzer. I keep looking over. Hi Judge! Finally I look at the judge AGAIN after really a lot of extra seconds, and she says, Just go do the gamble. Um. OK. So we missed it because we were over in a weird spot to get into it. Such is life. Our gamblers curse is apparently back and now tied into my weird magnetic force field that screws up electronic timers. But there are worse things to worry about. Like piles of muddy laundry and why does Frances McDormand wear Martin Scorsese's old man glasses yet still manage to look kind of cool?

Otterpop was still scared of everything, however she did not have any barking paranoia attacks. This is in a metal building teeming with raincoated ax murderers and zombies disguised as raincoated agility ladies. She had running paranoia runs, where she was running, yet also implementing full radar for alleged slashers. She had a couple semi relaxed runs, and a couple with slow starts and speedy ends. I was proud of her because i felt like she was actually trying to hold it together. Thanks Otterpop! Maybe not full speed but you held it together and we just keep working this out.

Ruby was on cruise control mode. Not crazy, zany fast, but not slow. Just kind of having a pleasant time, in the mud. Which was a-ok with me. She seemed happy as a clam. She had a couple of moments near the weave poles of little moments, then was fine. None of her poles were horrible slow, but I can't say they were super fast. I tried to be relaxed and casual to the point that I gave her a couple refusals from sloppy, sloopy handling like a drunken bus driver, but that was sort of my mission of the day. See if the bus is broken, just needs an oil change, or is a happy bus. I would say normal and happy, and maybe next time I can rev her into top speed mode if she is still seeming a-ok after this.


We took our friend Mary and her dog Ariel. Ariel is actually not as giant as she looks here, but still had to squish into the back with all my caged dogs. This is what they look like at 4:45 in the morning! Surprise! This was one of their first trials and let's say the OWNED that Level 2 division. How many new handlers go out there and attack 3 7's in their Snookers Run?

Gustavo could have done without this trial. It was a bit much for him. Mud. Crowds. Loudness. A lot of sitting in the car. He didn't love it. He heard there were pancakes at home when he was sitting locked in a muddy cage. Thanks for sticking it out Gustavo! He saw Daniel Day Lewis on the Oscars last night and now he wants his ears pierced like that if he has to go to any more muddy, sitting in the car all day agility trials. Yeah. Only if you actually start bringing BACK that muddy frisbee instead of leaving it out in the mud.

I might as well start driving an ark.

Oh my god. We are all freaking out here. Because there is actual water falling from the sky, and air blowing strongly over the land. I rushed all day at work yesterday, to get almost every horse out, because for the next couple a days it sounds like the horses will be walking (this is optimistic, you try keeping big fit show horses happy cooped up in little stalls for more than 12 hrs and see how nice they want to be about walking) up and down the barn aisle. While Ten Inches of rain pour down upon us all. I even gave up precious dog practice time so I could get more horses done before the rain started. Good customer service!

Did I forget about this water plummeting out of sky creating mud and wetness on all surfaces when I decided it was a good idea to have 4 dogs? I forgot to do the math and it was summer. 4 dogs = 16 sopping, muddy paws. One dog didn't get the memo that you go outside, pee or what have you, quickly, and come in. Waiting, in a sit, without moving, until your muddy and wet self is toweled off. Each paw included. Only then, move into the rest of the house. Oh that memo. Welcome to rain, el vato. How long can dogs go without going to the bathroom?

One of my students told me about one of her co-workers, another small animal vet, whose group of perfect border collies were able to march in a parade, doing tricks, not on leashes, then all lay quietly at work without moving until she moves her finger or something. Hate her. I see her at trials. She is a good trainer. This is while my dogs were screaming around the barn aisle, having been evacuted from their dog swamp, bouncing off the walls and just wanting to RUN.

I totally get the people that have the dog treadmills. I think I thought this last time it rained. Then it was sunny. Because all I am saying right now is "NO. Get off THAT! Leave the Cat Alone! Drop That! HEY! That cat is a citizen! Stop It NOW!" You get the idea. Little wet fur things running amuck. Can't they just pretend to be tired somehow? Have not had their long run. Amuck in my tiny house that had a clean floor just the other day. Dog toys. I want the poor cat to learn to come in the house. It's sort of feral. But I hate to see it all wet and I am training it to come in the door and set a spell. Various dogs are obsessed with it. There is either running and chasing and frantic monkey sounds in it's honor, or sitting and staring. The poor cat just wants to sit there. And it has 4 eyes on it all all times, just staring. And then the cat is bleating. And the monkey sounds. And the shrill bark of Otterpop the control freak. Instead of being a good trainer using this as a Training Opportunity, I just pretend I Can't Hear You All and go back to typing.

Like the day they ran straight into the Hershey's shop in Times Square. They all attacked the crew from Project Runway that was there cleaning up after the ransack of the designers and having secret negotiations in the York Peppermint Patty Pillow Conference Room over how mny Reese's Pieces commercials they will run on the Bravo Channel for free. Otterpop attacked the camera man and Ruby went after the PR Team. Gustavo just ran around and screamed and then Tim Gunn came in with Heidi and she had a fire extinguisher and sprayed all the dogs and they ran into Times Square and chased the tourists. I hate it when that happens. So do all the Project Runway designers.