This is a report from the Big Dog Show.

OK. Let's cut to the chase. Big dog show. USDAA DAM Team and Tournaments in Santa Rosa. Otterpop got the elusive Team Q! Ruby did not although she worked hard for it, winning Team Snookers and getting a 2nd in Team Gamblers. But her rocky start with a small but lethal mistake in Saturday's Team Standard put her team behind, and even though the subsequent wins helped get their points up, a very lethal mistake by her teammate put them out of the running in the Oh so important for points Team Relay Race. It happens! But Ruby did get a 3rd in the Steeplechase first round, had a fairly slow 2nd round but still got a 5th overall, and something in the Grand Prix. I think a 4th.

Otterpop was a champ! She made small errors here and there, and so did her team mate dogs named Sizzle and Tag, but nothing drastic enough to cost them the hard to get Q. The only thing that made me irritated but also was equally funny was when she stopped in the corner of the ring, during the Grand Prix, that was right next to a hamburger stand. Just stopped running, put her nose in the air, and started sleepwalk following the scent of frying burgers towards the hamburger stand. On her tiptoes. Following her nose. It was like straight out of a dog cartoon except it was happening during the Grand Prix. Where you should be running really, really fast. Everyone was laughing. I just yelled at her and she popped back into gear. It cost us some time, but she still came in 4th. She did a similar cartoon sleepwalking dog thing for some people eating french fries outside the ring during her Steeplechase which also cost her enough time to not make it to the finals. So we had a little junk food issue but that was about it.

Ruby had slow weave poles. They started great and got slower and more pathetic as the weekend went on, costing her time and possible wins in other classes. I don't know what to do about this and it is a weird problem to fix. Because on Saturday morning they were fast, and by the afternoon they are slow. Steeplechase finals had 2 sets of weave poles. 2 times to be slow on otherwise fast runs, costing a lot of seconds. I think her time was 10 seconds slower than the winning time. Grand Prix. Slow weave poles. This makes me want to cry. I guess there are a lot worse things to cry about. Like it is not global warming here. But still. We want to be rockstars of dog agility and instead, we are just sort of plain. I hate to be plain.

So all in all, it was actually very fun and lots of good runs and lots of thing to work on too. Rubyweavepoles. Otterpophamburger. No mean people there the whole time! Christmas music! Wine drinking in a motorhome! Starbucks within 1 mile of Motel 6! No traffic! Two whole days of a dog show! No rain! I learned what it felt like to make a mistake and be shamed with an Elimination. Shameful and horrible. A lesson to use somewhere in life. Thanks dog agility!

It is sort of like a vacation, but in a bad way.

This weekend, we are going to Santa Rosa. We have to be there about 7am on Saturday morning. Which means, we get to leave my house in the dark at 4:30am on Saturday morning! And that night, we are staying at Motel 6 in Santa Rosa! This is going to be one swell weekend!

Why? Of course it's for a dog show. Why else do we venture further than Watsonville ever? Why do people give me weird looks when I tell them about these dog shows? You are giving me one right now. I see it. I see that chuckle and shake of your head and I know exactly what it means. That Laura. She is so wacky about these dog shows. Except for yours, dog agility person. You are nodding your head, thinking, yes, at least she doesn't have to drive all night and it's not in LA. Or Santa Barbara. Or Arizona. Santa Rosa? That's nuthin.

And, take THAT dog agility friend, mine is in a covered arena! So just in case it is raining, it will be dry and icey cold at my dog show. With floating dirt particles in the air and nowhere for a dog to stretch out in the sun or the grass.

This one is special, it's for Tournaments and DAM teams only. DAM team stands for dog agility masters. That would be Otterpop and Ruby, damn masters of agility. They are on teams, and if they screw up, their team members will come after me with sharp stakes and rakes and possibly kill me. Can you give my dogs a ride home if I'm dead? If we win, they possibly we will have our Team Q, which is a requirement to get the ADCh. If we got enough points. Yes, I am getting up at 4am to drive to a freezing cold covered arena for 2 days, canceling a day at work, to possibly get a requirement that helps me earn some letters!

You know how much I like to get paid to do stuff. Everyone assumes I must be getting paid to do this. Ah, I see you dog agility person, nodding your head and chuckling, that would be nice but it is a funny joke! Instead of paying so much money, someone would pay me some money. That is a funny joke to laugh at! I know, non dog agility person right now, you are scratching your head thinking, but Laura likes to get paid the money to buy things like ranches! Perhaps, just last night, she had to stay up late graphic designing something really, really stupid because someone said they would pay her some money! She has to ride those horses and teach those girls to ride 'em to get some money. But she pays money to show the dogs? What about when she won the big Steeplechase?

That's what I'm saying. Enough of that.