A step towards my quest towards being a Retired Person in a hooky day from work on a beautiful Thanksgiving weekend.

I totally played hooky from work and took the dogs out to a Fun Match at our friend Susan's house. Susan has entered Otterpop's universe of people that are not evil. A very shrimpy universe consisting of 8 people.


It is also just happens to be the site of the Silvia Trkman seminar on Monday. So I thought it would be nice to do a little practice there, see if there were any dead people lurking and such.


And it also happened to be a beautiful, sunny day and what better thing to do on a day like that than go do some agility?


It also happend that a bunch of our friends were there.


Gustavo did a bunch of runs. He did all right. I was pleased. I was freakazola pleased with his weave poles and that he did not run away and try to chase any sheep. I think I had him do one too many teeter totters though.


Otterpop ran a little bit. She was awesome.


Ruby ran a teensy, weensy little bit. She hit a lot of bars and had no weave poles and slept sitting up all afternoon. I took her out to chase bunnies later that evening. She liked that way better.

Top Ten Lessons Learned At Sunday's Fun Match

When Team Small Dog is in a crappy mood and writes gray stories about dead racoons, all the Friends of Team Small Dog also go in crappy moods and no one is happy. Therefore we have a responsibility to figure out how to carry on teaching Gustavo 12 genuine weave poles and keep all our readers happy and free from dead racoons everywhere. Sorry my friends I saw and met at the Fun Match. Did not realize I was screwing up so many people's days! No more navel gazey blah blah blah sad stories. Keep calm and carry on! Ship Shape! Put that Fun back in Funk! Fun back in Fungus! Fun back in Malfunction! Fun back in Superfund!

Gustavo's weave poles, a work in progress. Which may be working it's progress backwards and sideways rather than consistently forward. In his gazillion runs, we varied from hitting the entrance the second time attempting, third time attempting, having complete drive-bys and finally progressing to a late entrance, having total and complete drive-bys on the poles with the chunky funny base in one ring that never resulted in completed poles, to one random totally nice set of poles with a correct entrance the first time through.

The cheese and spinach croissant from Emily's bakery, really good. I quit my boycott of her place, bakery owning Mayor of Santa Cruz who threw down the secret, evil deal with the State Parks over the whole Lighthouse Field thing. Because it was on my way and I'm trying to get over it.

Otterpop still has startline weirdness issues at fun matches that involve frisbees out on the field with her. This was her main thing to work on and while she certainly put the Fun back in her Fun Match, boy is that an uphill climb to make the agility trial startline as fun as practicing agility and walking out to that startline.

Ruby is just not sound. Even though she seemed ok the other day, one jump at the Fun Match and land and hinky hinky. She did not have extreme Fun except during napping in the car and walking around and stealing treats from people.

Kathleen certainly built forest agility paradise at her house. You guys should all go there. Heart Dog Agility. She teaches lessons, has fun matches, and holds seminars at her forest field.

Most people do not reward their dogs enough, even at a Fun Match. If there can be Fun in a Funeral, then for godsakes, put some Fun in agility. Agilfunty. Whatever. Just give your dog a prize! Some of my students there, so hard for them to realize that at a new place, their dog might be, let's just say, not so fresh. Somewhat stinkier than what you were dreaming of. Dreaming of, they march out on that field, and ka-BLAM! Instant perfect dog. What you get, maybe not so much. Hi! Me too! Reward the behaviors you want and you know. If we were all Susan Garrett, we'd all be Canandian Christian Vegans and wouldn't that be, somewhat, not so diverse?

Super top competitors, still come to Fun Matches. Moe was there. Everyone should buy her DVD because she is awesome. And there are super great competitors who still have issues, working them out at the Fun Match. The amazing corgi who has been competing for years, has blazing speed but has yet to hit a contact in a standard class. The superfast little sheltie, always on the mark, yet needs 4 Gambler's Q's still for an ADCh. My smooth handling border collie friend who doesn't always have contacts, still after all these years. All of us, hard workers but still chipping away at getting it together.

Otterpop only does an out so far to a teeter totter. She spent the parts of the fun match not practicing running full speed off startline practicing gambler's type sequences at a distance. Which went pretty good. But not great. But maybe good enough to get some of those pesky Gambler's Q's at the trials coming up the next few months. Unless the teeter is involved and it is far, far, away.

Gustavo, so cute even when totally screwing up. He did improve and settle in, each run. So first run, self releasing the dogwalk contact and all he did was dogwalks until contacts good. Next run, contacts! However, no weave poles. Next run, sort of weave poles! Sort of went on like that until he'd done maybe 8 or so runs and just started melting down back to border collie screaming and random running around and was time to go home. But wait! Not dead racoon! Perfect startlines, smashing a-frames and no running away into the forest for the most part and a few sequences, dyn-o-mite. A nice feature with Gustavo, if I say, "Hey, can someone hold my dog?" and it's Gustavo, EVERYONE comes running over. If I say this, and it's Otterpop, people quiet and sort of avert eyes as if noticing brand new worms, down in there in the dirt. It's OK.

All we needed were spandex spangles and go-go boots to make it even Funner.

So he made his debut. At a practice show known as a Fun Match. We all lived to tell the tale. First of all, I didn't even try to take videos or pictures and run 3 small dogs who made up exactly half of the 12" division at the Fun Match. I think I did like 22 runs in under 5 hours. You do the math. So I just took pictures later, after a nice shower and the dogs were all asleep. Without actual dogs. No barking. Clean clothes. And so you can see my new carpet I put in last week. You want the good news or the bad news first?

Sorry if you just said bad news. Gustavo rocks the jumpers course. Ran him over the same jumpers courses as Otterpop and Ruby and he just flew around them like he goes out and does that every day of his life. I sort of almost didn't believe it if I hadn't seen it with my own 2 eyes. He did start off his first one by predictably running across the whole field for a tunnel, then coming back in and just knocking out the course. FAST. Then just kept doing that. Hello! Where the hell did he come up with that?


And in the standard ring, hit all the contacts except for one when the tunnel was right there off the dogwalk (Has been learning to stop, turn, go into the tunnel. but prefers no stop when a lovely tunnel sitting right there calling the tunnel song) but out there on the standard course, not so easy to run and turn. More distractions, more discriminations (Always Pick the Tunnel!) and more of me stopping and starting and micro managing.

A brilliant insight by new handler yet Ace Agility Lady with Discriminating Eye from Watching Many Years of Agility, Roxie, was, "Well of course he goes in all the tunnels. You give him a treat when he comes out!" Oh yeah. I think I am so happy he is not running 100 miles away or to the beach or after a deer that basically his training method is a treat when not running off to a far off land. So thanks Roxie! Maybe we notice that next time we practice. I have been actually not even putting tunnels out lately at all. Were such an integral part of learning all his other obstacles. I am totally responsible for the little tunnel sucker of my own creation.


So now what was the bad news? How about one escape from the crate to join Otterpop on a course? Oops. Thanks, Crate Games that we never really did. Actually sort of cute, 2 dogs for a chunk of a jumpers run. How about the whole concept of I take off your collar and you come with me to the start line. Not to visit all the dogs waiting for their turn. Or the whole thing of after you run, come with me to get your leash, not to once again make the rounds of all these Dogs! Or another tunnel! Or some bushes! Again sort of funny but not so appreciated. So not really bad news, shall we say more of some things to Address With Further Training? Start lines a little bizarre since we just sort of go out there and GO. I am a pretty fast runner but I am realizing he may be a whole other class of fast that might entail a leadout. Meaning stays! Uh, maybe Address With Further Training? And learn to do straight poles?


Lots to practice indeed before a genuine dog show. Other dogs? Otterpop just knocked a buncha runs outta the park. Just solid as can be. Ruby, did some runs but not as many, and her longtime dream and suspicion of potential pot of hot dogs in the middle of an agility course was finally realized out there. Unlike a real dog show, my non agility friends, you can carry around wads of hot dogs with you and dump them out wherever you want on the field at this practice kind. Maybe not such a great idea, but not against the law. No assault weapons at dog agility for law breakers. Ruby entered a realm of joyful previously unknown to her yet what she has been imagining her whole agility career could happen if she was really, really lucky. The luck of Timmy for Ruby! Perhaps will haunt us at a later date, but she sure liked it. Maybe even better than musical saws and lumberjacks.

In this episode, Gustavo is off to his first fun match.

Gustavo goes to his first Fun Match today. My non dog agility friends, this is like a pretend dog show, where dogs like Ruby and Otterpop brush up on skills to practice for the dog shows coming up. And where dogs like Gustavo run around and make people like me look like really crappy dog trainers better suited to pursuits like sitting quietly in a chair and getting tattoos. Reading. Pool hustling. Record collecting. Anything but.


To get ready, Gustavo spent a good part of yesterday barking at himself in the mirror. He doesn't bark at much. Himself in the mirror and pumpkins on the porch and invisible ghosts up at the dressage ring at work. Pretty much it. A little quirky, you are thinking. Indeed. He barks at his freako things, the other dogs, who bark at actual things like the True Danger Known as Mailman, they just sit there and stare at him. Weirdo. Gustavo actually likes the mailman. Weirdo.


When we practice, he does courses and contacts and serpentines and threadles and so forth. Everything the other dogs do, except for his poles. He is basically still shredding the bmx course on a tricycle poles wise. Only fast and speedy when they have their little training wheels of being offset. Straight poles, they're different things, according to him. Like that dog that was sitting in the mirror barking at him all day. A little quirky? Indeed.

All about the sweatpants.

That sound you hear is my joints and bones squeaking and making slow painful cracking noises. I am not sure why other than I am very old? After a day of leaping onto horses, it is hard to move. I tried to run the dogs. Between my creaking and Ruby's creaking, which I am thinking might be attributed to a night of shivering and shoving herself under furniture, we could barely get around. Otterpop was fast though. Too bad I couldn't keep up with her. Then I sort of creaked around work in the dirt, then I tried to creak through yoga. My yoga teacher is constantly appalled at the state I come in there in.

So my new idea is to get healthier, lose some weight, start running and doing some exersizing every day! This is not really a new idea. I have it all the time. But I don't get around to it because I am so busy on the computer, taking Timmy for slow, leisurely Timmy paced walks, cutting out pictures, and falling asleep during Deadwood dvd's on our couch. But at the rate I am going, I am not going to be able to Win anything at any Big Dog Shows. Which start again at the end of August. If I am slow, so are my dogs. Not to mention the importance of looking hot in modified skinny jeans. Right now it's all about sweatpants.

This Sunday there is a fun match, which is a practice dog show. I forgot to send in an entry, which makes it prohibitively expensive, since it's in Hot Hollister, and I only wanted to do a couple of runs since it goes somewhat against my rule of don't make the dogs run in the heat that makes them miserable. So I may be missing it. It's also put on by my dog club, of which I am a member and frequently do not help out enough with. Making me a bad dog citizen of the community.

Maybe I will stay home and watch Deadwood some more. Like Al says, (Swearengen, not Gore II from jail), "I appreciate a bit of heft on you but would it kill you to lose a few fucking pounds". Thanks Al! That's the best personal trainer I could ever have. While reclining on the couch.