Saturday, October 13, 2007

Bleaching ensues.

There is a rumor that roofers are going to come today and put a roof on the Leaking Thing. Which would be nice as it rains now. We are in La Nina which means it rains and roofs are neccessary. We even have nice new sheetrock that the roofers gave us which has been leaked on some more because of the fact that the roofers never came back to make a roof after putting up new sheetrock which was ruined since we had no roof.

That doesn't make any sense right? Right. We have roofers from square dancing hell. I weep for President of our Roofer's dead dog but I also weep for all of our wet and molding house and the rain inside the office.

Where is dog agility this weekend? It is not. So I will be working! If there is no dog agility I work an extra day so it is work on Sunday this week. That is one thing about my life is that as Trainer of Animals mostly weekends are for working. Although dog shows don't really count as working. Horse shows do.

Here is an added bonus of rain you probably never wanted to hear about. When it rains, homeless people sleep in bushes where dogs like to walk. If you have a dog like Otterpop, you know about dogs that like to roll in whatever smells worst. Usually this is carcass. But also, when homeless people sleep in bushes, they also use them for bathrooms. If you have a dog like Otterpop, rolling in HUMAN SHIT is top shelf.

Which happened yesterday. In the rain. When I had 4 dogs that had traveled to the field in the car.

How do you get a dog like that home? One idea is throw her in ocean first. But I did not want to touch the dog to throw her. And one of 4 dogs in Timmy who cannot walk very far, so to ocean and back through field is too far of walking for his sad little legs.

The next idea is run her next to the car while it is driving. By the time I got to the car, realized that this is probably dangerous due to rolling car tires and the fact it is a car and I could be thrown in jail for animal cruelty. Would also mean attaching a leash to the stinking pile of dog.

Had some dog crates in car. Emptied one of it's little bed. It was Gustavo's. Had Otterpop jump in and locked it up and pushed it as far back in car as it could go.

Got home, all dogs had to listen to me screaming and carrying on and Otterpop is wondering what she is in trouble for. I mean screaming and carrying on. I mean really screaming and carrying on. Also did I mention it is raining which always makes things like this way more Pleasant?

Get 3 dogs dried off and away from scene of crime. Drag stinking crate out of car, get the hose and start hosing down. Otterpop has no idea what has hit her. I am spraying hose at full blast on dog and crate and dog and crate. Dog is huddled mass shaking and quivering and being hosed and is frozen like little shit statue perhaps due to shock of screaming and cold water being hosed on her for like 10 minutes.

Take very wet dog and clean yet perhaps unhygenic and germ filled dog in for bath in actual house wearing bathroom scrubbing elbow length gloves. Scrub dog for a long time. Am kind of done screaming now and feeling sorry for poor quivering worn out pathetic tiny dog, usually tank sized who looks skinny and mournful all wet and berated.

Throw away dog's beautiful leather pony style collar.

Hose down driveway in the rain. For a long time. Neighbors probably thing dog lady is now fully insane.

Bleaching ensues. I am just so grossed out.

That's the end of that story.

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