Thursday, October 11, 2007

Wardrobe Essential Number Two-the Dirt Issue.

Last night was dirt night.

You know dirt night. It's agility class and it's in sticky, filthy black dirt. At night. When most people are doing something nice like having dinner and watching tv. We are in the dirt.

I had a new student for a few weeks. He was a dapper gentleman, in khaki pants and tucked in white shirt, very LLBean. A clean man. He had trained his dog to do agility at home all by himself and done a pretty darn good job. He was ready for class. Nice big, golden colored dog with long, silky, flowing, orange hair.

Dropped out from the dirt. Too dirty. Dirt agility. When I get home, I have to take off all my clothes at the back door. At least my dogs have 3 sets of small feet and are black and don't show the dirt. Until they walk on the pink (UGLY, light pink barf color) linoleum floor and make lots of tiny black footprints everywhere.

And when I get to dirt night, I'm already covered in dirt. Our arena doesn't have the gross sticky polymer dressage spray that they use where we have agility, but we do have a bit of rubber mixed in (DIRTY) and asphalt grindings along all road like surfaces (27 acres) at our ranch. Every day I come home pretty filthy. So I am just disgusting by the end of Wednesday. FILTH.

Yesterday I also drug the arenas in the Disease Mobile. If I had a camera (Where is my camera? Remember when the battery died on vacation? And I would like to charge the battery, but remember the funny day of the flood and then we had no office and then they were going to finish putting a roof up and resheet rock and we would have a roof and I would have an office again and we would have a roof again-ready for funny???-they have not finished and I have no office and no roof still and new sheetrock that is leaking again because the no roof-so funny!!!! And all things from office stacked everywhere still, where is the battery? the taxes? the rolo stuff? the brushes?!!)

Um, sorry. No camera. Were I to take a photo of the Disease Mobile, you would see that instead of a tractor at our ranch, I am treated to a janky old 1970's mini bronco pulling a drag tied onto it's hitch. With no back. No doors. No nothing except working 4wd and it somehow can pull the (small) drag around. It spews carbon monoxide into the driver's face, out the back, the inside is full of hay and probably rats and diseases and you navigate with your head stuck out the window. It also delivers hay up to all the upper pastures and is filled with hay as well as dirt and toxic fumes. You feel diseased every second you drag, and we have 3 arenas, one of them huge and it is just an hour of disease and dirt.

OK but agility was great. I even ran Ruby a bit who I have no idea if is sick or injured or what but I let her run around one run and she was a-ok for that and in bullet mode. Pop was speeding and making every weirdo pole entry I could throw at her and Hobbes was precise and rocket fast and no bars except he one time did not do his table for me. Panic! I am supposed to be the table secret weapon to get his standard Qs and if he stops doing his table for me it may be all over, my Hobbes affair.

Tim Gunn and Carson, are you hearing this? The wardrobe essential has the dirt issue to content with. Must be able to be hosed off somehow, washed instantly and the black and horrible dirt is easy to remove from every orifice of the article of clothing!

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